Over the River and Through the Woods (or Desert)

So tonight we’re off to Utah for the Holidays. I’m dreading the drive, but I’m SO excited to be home I can hardly stand it. 10 hours of miserable is easily made up with 11 days of glorious vacation.

I get to see lots and lots of people I’ve been missing terribly. We get to spend Christmas with part of my family and Matt’s. We get to see SNOW! And, most importantly, the annual Katestravaganza birthday party is on again this year! WOOT!

So, a little bus-nass. Those of you who read Brillig know that Soap Opera Sunday is also on vacation for Christmas and those of you who don’t, surprise! Soap Opera Sunday is on vacation for Christmas! We didn’t plan this in advance, I swear. I know I totally left you guys hanging, but I PROMISE I’ll continue with the story after I get home. And, just because I know you’ll love it, I’ll write enough of the story for two installments in one week. Deal?

I will have internet but I can’t promise I’ll have the desire to use it. (Wait, who am I kidding. I’m totally addicted.) Let me rephrase . . . I can’t promise I’ll have the motivation to write anything, but I will see what I can do and try to keep up with all of you.

Happy Festivus for the Rest of Us! Or, just Merry Christmas! Love to you and your families and I hope you all keep safe!

Reparations

Most of you know that I am a child of a “broken” home. My parents separated when I was six (and my siblings were 4, 2, and 1 month old) and finalized the divorce about a year and a half later. As is the norm, neither the divorce or the circumstances surrounding it were pretty. Both of my parents were left horribly scarred and terribly hurt.

I love both my parents with all of my heart, let’s be perfectly clear on that. They are both AMAZING people who have led amazing lives and made myself and my siblings the people we are today. But, my parents were (and are), imperfect, as we all are. They both made some mistakes with us kids as we were growing up. Some of those mistakes left invisible scars on the hearts and lives of all of the children in my family. Some of those mistakes have affected us beyond my words to describe.

The last 21 years haven’t been easy. We’ve been luckier than some children of divorce, in that we know and speak to our Father and that at least our parents were able to be in the same room without killing each other. They were even able to be cordial, but everyone who knew them realized that it was quite forced. It was very, very clear that they did NOT like each other. The graduations, weddings and other occasions requiring their presence in the same state always caused sever stress among my siblings and myself. There was always that worry that all the bottled up anger and rage were going to suddenly emerge, that the weapons would be drawn and a battle of epic proportions would ensue.

I know many of you know the fear and pain of having two parents, whom you love, hate each other. It’s hard to describe the feelings to those who haven’t experienced it. You feel like a rubber band being pulled apart. Like you have to choose sides, or have to pick a favorite and stick with that parent in the looming struggles for power. It’s easy to only hear and believe one side of the story, especially when one parent has custody and the other is living far away (in our case, all the way across the world.). It’s easy to begin to resent the more absent parent, and in turn, feel as though they have begun to resent you. It’s just never . . . comfortable.

I am the oldest and therefore have more memories of my parents life together than the rest of my siblings, and I can only remember one or possibly two times when they were married and getting along. Most of my memories involving my parents together involve brief encounters in passing, forced kindness at joyous occasions, arguing, or being told stories of how one parent hurt the other. They tried to keep us from it, but I think their mutual disdain took over. It engulfed their lives and eventually all of ours.

This last weekend was another joyous occasion. My brother Sean, who is 25, was graduating from college and my other brother Patrick turned 21. The celebrations were taking place at my Father’s home in Pennsylvania, where both boys currently live. My Mom, of course, flew back east for the celebrations. This was a first for us . . . the first time my Mom was on Dad’s turf. Most of the other affairs over the years took place in Utah where we were raised, therefore Dad was always on Mom’s turf. All four of us kids prepared for the worst. I was the only one not attending, due to work conflicts, so three out of four were in preparations to keep the parental units as separated as possible to prevent any bloodshed.

There was no bloodshed. This weekend the prayers of four hurt, scared kids were answered after 21 years and our family was granted a miracle. That is the only way to describe it. Something changed in both of my parents and this weekend, for the first time in 21 years, they truly got along.

I wasn’t there to witness any of it, but I’ve heard numerous accounts of our family miracle. My Father invited my Mother to his home for dinner. They sat in the same room and reminisced about when they were married. They laughed, they poked fun at each other. They acted like they liked each other. My Mother offered gifts, chatted easily with my Step-Mother and seemed to have a truly wonderful time. This happened three days in a row. Dad invited Mom to go to the shooting range with him. THEY WERE IN THE SAME PLACE WITH LOADED WEAPONS, people. My Dad taught my Mom how to shoot a gun. Holy crap.

Then, on the last night my Mom was in town, Dad apparently volunteered to drive her to the place where she was staying. They got out of the car and then they embraced. With tears streaming down her face, Mom apologized for any wrongs she had committed against Dad over the years, and my Dad smiled and told her to be happy in her life.

They finally . . . just . . . let . . . go.

I cannot express to you how heavy a weight has been lifted from the shoulders of myself and my siblings. I cannot express the joy in my heart. I don’t think I knew how heavily all of this had weighed on us until it was finally over. No more awkward get togethers, no more talks of protecting one parent from another, no more begging them to just drop it and get over it already. It’s truly over, and we can finally breathe.

I beg those of you who are divorced and have children to try to get along with the Ex. I know how hard it must be, but I cannot express to you what a difference it would have made in the lives of my family members if my parents had attempted this reconciliation years ago. I beg those of you with families still intact to hold on for dear life and be grateful for your families. Never, ever take advantage of the gift you have been given.

I know that the Lord has had a hand in all of this. I know He has been watching over my family and slowly healing my parents hearts so that this could happen. I am forever grateful. I have never in my life felt such love for both of my parents as I do today. I have never heard my siblings voices filled with so much wonder and so much joy. I will go to sleep tonight with a smile on my face and a prayer of thanks in my heart. I have been praying for more Christmas Spirit and it has been granted ten fold. This might just be the best December ever.

The Future Looked Mighty Bright

Welcome back to what is most definitely going to be the LONGETST.SOS.EVER. I’m not lying, not even a little bit. This is the saga to end all saga’s and it’s going to take FOR.EV.ER.

Kisses and hugs to Thalia’s Child for hosting this week. She’s an angel. If you don’t know what Soap Opera Sunday is or are playing along for the first time, the rules are hither at darling Brillig’s site.

So, if you’re just tuning in, you can go here then here. If you don’t give a crap about my stupid former love life and wish I would write something more meaningful and less banal, you can go here. (just kidding. hahahahahaha I love Cartman)

Ahem. Moving on.

So, after our first glorious kiss, Richard and I spent the rest of the night/morning half asleep, half kissing and snuggling. He was so respectful and kind and kept saying the sweetest things. (Those of you who know this story already stop snickering and/or throwing up kthanks.) I left the apartment at about 6 AM and drove home, if you can call it that. I sort of floated home. I’d never met anyone like this guy. He was attractive, sweet, hilarious, complimentary, he had opened all my doors the evening before . . . the list of what I already knew I loved about him went on and on. And on.

I was finally over Sam and I was convinced I had just met my future husband. I woke my Mom up the second I got home and climbed in bed with her and we giggled and talked about this amazing new guy in my life, both relieved that the dark, lonely cloud that had been hanging over my head was gone.

The very next night, he decided he had to see me and drove down in a blizzard (he lived about 45 minutes north of my hometown) to take me out on our first “alone” date. We saw Monster’s Inc. – HIS choice! I love Disney movies and was dying to see it and HE chose it. This guy seemed to become more perfect every second I spent with him. After the movie, we went to my house and he sat and talked with my whole family for almost two hours. He talked to my brothers about basketball and football, with my Mom about her work, to my Step-dad about his life . . . it was this awesome, easy, comfortable evening. He seemed to fit right in. He wasn’t shy about being affectionate with me, he pulled me down on his lap and rubbed my back and played with my hair the whole time. I really though I’d died and gone to heaven. He was hot and sweet and perfect AND got along with my family?!?!

From that day on, Richard and I talked every day – usually three or four times a day. If I ever couldn’t answer my phone, he’d leave a funny message, singing a goofy Christmas song or the Cougar Fight Song or something hilarious like that. I saved some of those messages for months because they were so funny. We talked so much about our lives and families and our goals for the future. Everything seemed to come easily for the two of us. Despite having almost nothing in common, socially, we never ran out of things to talk and laugh about.

We saw each other once again that week, this time up at his house, and we had a really deep discussion about where and how we wanted our new relationship to go. We discussed in depth how neither one of us wanted the relationship to be physically based, so we agreed to try to not kiss anymore, just to make sure that we were being level-headed about it. He told me he had been trying to become active in our church again, after a long time of not going to church at all, and that he didn’t want to mess that up, and that he also really, really liked me and wanted to be respectful, something he shared he’d had trouble with in the past. I was floored. He seemed exactly the opposite of what I had thought he was and, despite the newness of our relationship, I was DONE. I was madly in love with him.

On Thanksgiving night, which was five days after we had met, Richard called me very late. He sounded really upset and . . . different. He didn’t sound like himself. He was very quiet and serious and there were several long, awkward pauses in our conversation, which was something that had never happened before. I didn’t want to pry, but finally I said “Richard, what is wrong with you? Are you ok? You seem . . . different and it’s freaking me out.”

Another long pause ensued and finally he answered quietly, “Kate, there’s something I have to tell you and I don’t think you’re going to like it. In fact, I don’t blame you one bit if you hate me and never want to see me again.”

And So It Begins

And by “it” I mean the countdown to my birthday, courtesy of my baby brother Patrick who reminded me that I even HAVE a birthday coming up. 17 days to go. (If you’re counting, yes it’s December 31st, which I’m proud to share with Miss Molly and NO it wasn’t awesome growing up with my birthday on a holiday, but it’s become more and more awesome every year so I’m not holding it against the first 17 years of my life. Really.)

I can’t believe I’ll be 27. For some reason 27 is a scary age for me. Not because I feel old (I mean I DO feel old, but that’s due to the fact that I just bought my second house, third car and do all sort of ridiculously ADULT things) . . . I think it’s more because of the pressure associated with 27. It’s the age everyone claims to be once they are over that age. I feel like there’s a lot of pressure to make 27 my best year ever. That way, when I’m 45 and people ask me how old I am, I can say “27!” and think back on when I really was 27 and be joyful. I plan to try to make it the best year ever, but I’m fearing the pressure.

So, I’m moving on and not talking about being 27 anymore.

As I’ve said before, what is WITH this December? I am so behind my usual end of the year extravaganza!! I usually have a huge list of Christmas and Birthday wants, a huge gorgeous tree set up, Christmas music playing at all hours and all my shopping is usually done and all the presents are wrapped by now.

None of the above have happened. Thus my shock when Patrick reminded me it was my birthday in just a little over two weeks. Which means his birthday is in three days. My baby brother is 21! Now THAT makes me feel old! It also means Christmas is just a little over a week today and hi, freak out because nothing is done. Have I mentioned nothing is done? Good because nothing is done. And we’ve decided not to get a tree for our house this year because we’re only in town for another week and I’m freaking out a little inside because it goes against everything I believe in, so things will remain to be undone.

Except this one thing. I got my Dad RED FLEECE FOOTED PAJAMAS WITH A BACK DOOR. I’m DYING at how awesomly funny they are and how sad I am I won’t be there to see his face when he opens them. They were Matt’s idea and I bow down to his genius.

Now, in memory of last year’s amazing(ly overlit) Christmas tree, I leave you with a picture of said Christmas tree. May she and the lights we were too lazy to take off of her rest in Christmas peace.

Verbal Vomit v1

*Begin verbal vomit transmission*

What day is it? Tuesday? It’s already the 11th of December?

HOLY CRAPOLY WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?

*Shaking head, squinting eyes, trying to focus*

Yeah I have no idea what’s going on with the time. I have NOTHING done for Christmas, no presents – not even a tree! Every time we plan time to go get one, it freaking rains on us. We live in Arizona, it’s not SUPPOSED to rain. Sunshine all the time, especially in the winter, isn’t that what the people who LURVE Arizona tout?(does that sentence even make sense???) Just FYI, those that tout beautiful, sunny winters appear to be liars. Because it’s rained the majority of the last two weeks and I have an impromptu river and a three inch depression in my front yard to prove it. Oh, and my car has been dirted. Stupid rain.

Matt and I still haven’t taken holiday photos and I’m waiting for the cards I ordered (WON! Yay!) to arrive, so, don’t be mad if you get a holiday card from the Murphy’s in June. That’s how I seem to roll lately, assuming that’s about the time I’ll get my Christmas tree too. It will be Christmas in June, super-hot-120-degree style. Sweet.

Life continues to give me swats on the butt to keep me lively. I can’t talk to much about details, but things at work are kind of crazy and up in the air. It’s all pretty good stuff, just sort of unnerving and against my “change is bad” mentality.

Also, EVERYONE I KNOW is either pregnant or just had/is currently right at this moment having a baby. (OK that might be a bit of an over-exaggeration, but hi, my name is Kate. I over-exaggerate. Shoot me.)(Also, it’s sad that exaggerate and Kate rhyme. Sad but typical.) Despite the peer pressure, and my co-worker Pete’s insistence that I won’t be allowed in the “Ha ha we have a baby and you don’t” clique, I’m not having a baby because I just had a new car.

**Sidenote: HOW MUCH WOULD IT HURT TO BIRTH A NEW CAR?!?!?! End Sidenote**

Operation “Skinny Kate” has taken a hit this week, due to sugar cookies from WalMart. Yes, you heard me, I went to WalMart. Mostly because Matt needed stamps, but I found the cookie and rejoiced greatly. They are those super soft ones with the thick frosting — do you know what I’m talking about? Ahghghghghg they are so tasty. However, the hit to my thighs is being handled because I’m still running and biking every other day, despite loud protestations from my butt bones and my hip. I biked ten miles on Saturday. It SUCKED and I sweat a lot (have I mentioned I hate sweating? Well, I do.) but I must admit it felt great to waddle off the bike and announce to Matt “HA! Ten miles conquered! *pause to hold on to his shoulder before gravity overtook my shaky body* Carry me to the car?”

*Apologize sincerely to readers. Verbal vomit ended*

Soap Opera Sunday: The Continuation of the Rivalrous Date

Welcome (back) to Soap Opera Sunday! I’m so excited to be hosting this week, since it’s been FOREVER since I did that! For those of you who have no idea what Soap Opera Sunday is, you can check out the information and rules here. Also, any of you who are a little shy, remember that we have an Anonymous Soap Opera Blog that will allow you to tell any stories you like without having to attach your name or blog with the story! If you’re participating this week, leave your name and the permalink to your completed Soap Opera in the Mr. Linky and then please leave a comment as well! Love it, love you.

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So, last week I left you just at the moment I met Richard. Shall we continue?

As I mentioned, when he turned around, he literally took my breath away. He looked like the man of my dreams . . . you know, that imaginary guy you draw a picture of in your head that you’re pretty sure doesn’t exist? He had sparkly brown eyes, curly dark hair, a bit of scruff on his face, two deep dimples and the most amazing smile. Luckily, I was able to gain my composure, otherwise I might have started drooling or something equally embarrassing. We exchanged names and gave each other a quick hug, but there wasn’t a lot of time for pleasantries because the game was well underway and at that moment, BYU was loosing badly.

I mentioned Richard was all in red, the color of the University of Utah. I also mentioned that Adrienne had told me Richard was a little wired that evening, which he was. Add together the facts that his team, the away team, were winning, his hyperness and his attire . . . and pretty much every BYU fan in the stadium hated him. He was a typically loud, hilarious, supportive fan, just in the wrong stadium. It was hilarious. The old man sitting behinds us kept tapping me on the shoulder and asking me if I could find a way to make my date shut up. I came up with a few creative ways, one which included shoving his mouth full of Twizzlers, another involving my beanie, but truly, he wasn’t to be stopped, and I was loving it.

We were immediately comfortable with each other, mocking the other person for supporting the wrong team, seeing who could yell the loudest and laughing hysterically the whole time. It was, without a doubt, the most fun date I’d ever been on in my life.

BYU pulled of a bit of a miracle in the fourth quarter and won the game, temporarily silencing my obnoxious date, but the night was far from over. Kyle (Adrienne’s husband), Adrienne, Richard and I decided to brave the game traffic and head to the Olive Garden for dinner (mostly because it was close). The hilarity continued at dinner. Every couple of minutes Richard would run to the front and grab me a button or a mint from the hostess and with a flourish, present me with my “gift.” He made sure I knew I could have WHATEVER I wanted on the menu and made sure to mention exactly what I should get so that he could have some.

After dinner we headed back to Kyle and Adrienne’s apartment to watch a movie. I remember we watched Head Over Heels with Freddy Prinze, Jr. and Monica Potter and we all thought it was SO FUNNY. I think it’s because we were already insanely wired, but I remember watching a particularly foul bathroom scene (those of you who’ve seen it know what I’m talking about, yes?) like TEN TIMES and we were crying we were laughing so hard.

Somewhere during the movie Richard reached over and grabbed my hand and I got chills through my whole body. I really couldn’t believe that he was interested in me . . . that someone who looked the way he did was interested in ME. He was that guy who I was sure got almost any girl he wanted and he was looking at ME? I was sort of in shock.

At about 2 AM, Kyle and Adrienne decided they were “very tired” and went to bed. Richard and I sat and talked for about an hour . . . we were snuggled together talking mostly about our family’s when out of the blue (I was in the middle of a sentence!), he put his finger on my lips then cupped my face in his hands and gently kissed me.

Introducing . . .

MY NEW TOY!!

Beautiful new car, meet the Internets. Internets, meet my beautiful, yet to be named (oh my gosh I got a SMOKIN’ deal) car. Any suggestions on what to name her?

Perfect Day

Today is a great day!

Let me count the ways:

I am getting a fun new toy today, and don’t you worry, tomorrow I will show it to you. I’m GIDDY with excitement at my new toy and I can barely stand waiting until my lunch break to go get it. I love new toys.

Today I start physical therapy. Not QUITE as exciting as the new toy, however, I’m running a good, solid mile every time I go to the gym and having my hip NOT hurt when I’m done sounds very, very pleasant.

I cleaned my entire kitchen last night . . . not that it was that dirty, but I did the whole “granite cleaner” and “stainless steel polisher” thing and it’s all sparkly and beautiful like it was when we moved in and that makes me happy. I love coming home to a sparkling, clean kitchen. Then I mess it up cooking and have to start all over again, but at least I started with sparkly and clean!

I’m having a good hair day, which hasn’t happened much lately. My straight, flat hair even has body, and it NEVER has body unless I tease and hairspray it in!

I found my favorite, previously lost earrings, and I’m feeling all decked out and festive.

My jeans are fitting better thanks to my running, biking thing. Shrink, thighs! Shrink!

My husband is amazing. He said the sweetest thing to me yesterday that just made my heart melt and I think I fell in love with him all over again.

I talked to one of my best friends, Jewels, for 45 minutes last night about singing and I’m still sighing in happiness about it. She’s going to kick butt at her audition, I just know it.

This morning I talked to another best friend, Hannah, on the way to work. The subject wasn’t exactly pleasant, due to people being retarded, but the conversation once again proved to me that Hannah is awesome and strong and an amazing friend, not only to myself but others as well.

I am hosting Soap Opera Sunday this week and I’m so excited to do it! I have the sequel to my last post all planned and I can’t wait to read everything you guys have to say!!

I’m a few short weeks from going home to Utah for Christmas. I get very homesick this time of year and I’m counting down the days until I’m there, but today it doesn’t seem very far away!!

I am a lucky girl. I have an amazing husband and family, incredible friends, a great job, a beautiful home . . . I am blessed beyond words and more grateful than I could ever express.

I hope all of you have great days too!

Update to my Awesome Weekend: OH-IO!

My baby brother’s comment in my last post kindly (?) reminded me that I forgot to mention the second best part of the weekend.

Ohio State got into the National Championship game! Granted, it was at the cost of a lot of other great teams losing (thank you LSU, Missouri, West Virginia and pretty much any other team that was ranked #1 or #2 after Ohio State’s embarrassing loss a few weeks ago) but we’re #1 and we’ll take it!

Even MORE fun is that we’re playing LSU and I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it, but my sister just moved to New Orleans and her husband is not only FROM there, but also attends LSU.

This is gonna be great!

Weekend Update: The Kate Edition

We had an awesome weekend, and it seems that’s it’s been a long time since I felt like I could say that – which is a little sad, actually!

Friday night we had a date night and went to see Beowulf in 3-D. It was so funny sitting in the theatre in our big old glasses. The movie was better than I expected, considering I was bored out of my mind when I tried to read Beowulf in college. The 3-D part was pretty freaking sweet too. And hell-oooo Beowuolf.

We had a rare weather weekend in Phoenix . . . it POURED rain for two days straight. I honestly can’t remember the last time it rained that hard for that long. I’m used to the monsoons that come and go in like fifteen minutes. This was like a two day downpour. It was great, but cold. Since it was raining and we couldn’t get a Christmas tree or put up lights, we decided to spend the day test driving BMWs, for fun of course. We had a blast making fun of the sales people, sneaking around lots trying to avoid the stalkers, driving the AMAZING machines that are BMWs.

Saturday night was the best part of the whole weekend. Because we live in such a big movie market, many of the theaters in town were showing a sneak preview of The Golden Compass, a movie I’ve been looking forward to seeing for a very, very long time. I was SO excited to get to see it before it was”officially” released. It met and probably exceeded my expectations. It was gorgeously done, well written and well acted. I really enjoyed it and I think it’s going to be a big hit this season. I can’t wait for the sequels!

The movie is based on a trilogy of books called “His Dark Materials” by Phillip Pullman. There’s been quite a bit of controversy surrounding the book and the films, specifically among the religious communities. Apparently the author came out and said that he does not believe in God and that he wrote the books based on that belief. My girlfriends and I have had a few discussions about this, because a few of us had read the books before we heard this and didn’t see that at all. I felt the books were about free agency, a teaching central to my religious beliefs, and also about finding the truth within yourself. I’d be interested in hearing from any of you who see the movie or have read the books to see what you think. I came away from the books with renewed faith, not questioning it, but I’d love to know what other people think.

Today was a great, relaxing Sunday and for the first time in a long time I’m feeling refreshed and renewed and ready for my busy week. Of course that may change first thing in the morning when I have to actually wake up and face my week!

I hope you all had wonderful weekends! I can’t wait to read about them!!