So, the soap opera I’m sharing today isn’t entirely “new” information. I’ve shared bits and pieces of the story throughout my time blogging. But, since it is one of my funniest stories, I’m going to tell it here. And just to warn you, it’s probably going to take a couple of weeks.
The summer before my senior year in college, I have to selfishly say was my hottest looking year ever. After a year of dancing every day for about four hours, and doing some serious Yoga and Pilates and weight training at the gym, it was the first time I truly felt like a knock-out.
Because of my new found self confidence, I decided to do something completely self indulgent and narcissistic. I decided to enter a beauty pageant. So I died my hair a dark red to help me stand out, got some head shots (showing here) and got to work getting even skinnier and practicing my very best pageant wave.
Long story short, I didn’t win the pageant, and there were only five girls total, so they decided to put is all in the royalty. So, all summer, I got to be on all the parade floats and wear a white dress that they only had in a size 4 and I couldn’t breathe in it and needed three people to help me put it on. For the record, I do not look good in white. My wedding dress was ivory for this exact reason.
Anyway . . . to the story.
Cut to my first parade. It was for the City of Pleasant Grove’s Strawberry Days. We rode our tacky little float and waved our little hearts out in the hot summer morning and it was not fun. The pageant stuff was already getting old. I was grateful I hadn’t won!
When the parade was over and our float driver guy dropped us off and drove away, forgetting that we were supposed to attend some Miss Pleasant Grove afternoon tea (seriously. Who still has a formal tea?) and it was like three miles away. And we were stuck.
Enter Sam. He was driving a little golf cart that had been holding up (if I remember right) the Bank of American Fork giant parade balloon. He was a shorter guy, with dark curly hair and gorgeous hazel eyes. He drove up to me, oh so gallantly in his golf cart *snort* and offered to drive myself and my fellow royalty and I to our tea. Since I was the one he came up to first, I naturally made the other girls sit in the back. Sam and I chatted casually on the short drive and then when we pulled up at the tea, I hopped out and said thanks and started walking inside wondering why he hadn’t asked for my phone number.
“Hey!” he shouted after me. “Come back for a second.”
No problem young man.
“Can I call you sometime?”
Duh.
I gave him my number and ran inside, wishing I could ditch the tea and hang out with Sam instead.
He called the next day. He apologized for calling so soon but said he wasn’t really into the whole dating game. He was about eight years older than me (I was 20 at the time) and seemed normal. (As normal as a single 28 year old guy in Utah County can be! Where I come from when people meet a guy who’s unmarried and 28 they usually assume something wrong with him.) Our conversation went very easily and he asked me out on a date the next day, but there was a catch. His family already wanted to meet me. And I had to be in a bathing suit, because we were going water skiing.
Now, the bathing suit thing wasn’t TOO much of an issue, because I was in the best shape I’ve ever been in. (The issue there was that I happen to be the palest human alive who’s not considered an Albino.) I shrugged that one off though. Meeting his family I wasn’t TOO worried about. I’m a pretty friendly gal and most people like me. It was a little intimidating, but not something I couldn’t handle.
My bigger problem was that I couldn’t exactly go water skiing. I had recently discovered a benign tumor in my left breast (lovingly referred to as my left breasticle. hehehe.) and was having surgery the day after the water skiing adventure to have it removed. It wasn’t a big deal at all, but I had been strictly told I was not allowed to do anything that might strain that area. I think holding on to a rope hanging from a fastly moving boat justified “strain.”
I told him the circumstances and he said that would be fine and I could just stay in the boat and chat with he and his family. Sounded fun, I suppose. So I agreed.
The next afternoon, I picked out the sexiest bathing suit I felt I could wear when meeting a date’s family, and he swung by in his manly truck and picked me up. I think that afternoon will always be remembered as one of the funniest and most memorable of my life. His family was amazing. His Mom and I have the same name and for some reason that made her love me immediately. His awesome sister Kara and her husband were there as well as his younger brother Riley, who might be the funniest human being alive. We laughed and joked with each other the whole time. Seeing Sam in front of his family was a great way to get to know him, because he was forced to be himself, and his self was a pretty great guy. The thing I remember most was that he had NO filter. He said whatever came into his mind.
A couple of examples:
At one point he said to me “I’m so glad you’re not a typical Utah girl. Blonde hair, driving a black Honda Civic with a Roxy sticker on the back window. Those kinds of girls drive me crazy.”
“Uh, Sam” I said “My hair is dyed red. I’m naturally blonde, and ironically, I drive a black Honda Civic that just happens to have a Roxy sticker in the back window.” And then I died laughing while he tried to cover up his mistake.
During our boating adventure, naturally his family asked why I wasn’t water skiing. So I had to explain to them about the tumor. I also explained to them what I thought was the funniest part. The bishop of the church I went to was my surgeon. As in, I had to go into my bishop’s place of work and show him my boobs. I thought it was hilarious. So did they.
About five minutes after I told the story, out of nowhere, Sam says “I’m so changing careers.” “To what?” his Mom asked. His answer? “Whatever her bishop does.” We all looked at him in shock and then burst out laughing.
My FAVORITE Sam moment was while we were eating dinner that night. The restaurant was FREEZING and I was still in my semi-wet bathing suit with just a tank top and board shorts over it. My teeth were chattering and Sam asked me if I was cold. “Duh” I chattered. “Ummm” he said somewhat loudly, though thoughtfully, looking around “I guess I could give you my pants!” I snorted Diet Coke out of my nose and Riley, his brother shouts “SAM! Think, check with me, THEN TALK!” and explained the family “filter” problem to me. Truth be told, I have a bit of a “filter” problem too, so I had a feeling Sam and I were going to work out juuuust fine.
Later, still at the restaurant, I finished up all my food (a huge double cheeseburger meal and fries) and Sam looked at me in shock. “You finished all your food?” He asked. “Yeah! I was hungry and I love this place. I can’t NOT finish my food here!”
He leaned across the table, took my hand, looked deep into my eyes and said “Will you marry me? I think I’m in love with you.”
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Now for the good part of Soap Opera Sunday! The other stories!
If you’re playing along remember the rules and link back to myself and Brillig. Also, enter your perma-link (the link that goes right to your actual SOS post) in the Mr. Linky and then leave a comment! Love you all for playing!!
