In much, much happier news than my previous post of misery, one of my bestest, dearest friends, Julia of Blonde Canary delivered a beautiful baby boy (no name yet!) today.
He is 7 lb. 9 oz. and 19″ and just LOOK at that blonde hair!!
Congrats Jewels and Cody, and GREAT JOB!
OK I’m not THAT dramatic.
But today, we got bad, bad news.
The guy who was going to buy our house is backing out of the sale.
Why? You ask? Because our twenty year old house has an “old roof and old AC unit.”
Um, knock knock. Idiot? thehouseistwentyyearsoldofcoursetheACandroofareold.
We’re currently trying to sway his decision by dangling a NEW! LOOK HOW FANCY! Brand new air conditioner! in front of his greedy little eyes. Who needs $5k anyway? That and us paying 50% of his closing costs aughta do it, right?! Right? Please tell me I’m right . . .
So I’m asking all my readers to do me a little favor. Whatever God or Greater Being(s) you believe in, please ask him/it/them/whatever to help convince this guy to take the pretty new AC and buy my house so I can stop crying and ripping my hair out in chunks.
Bless you all (and your little dogs too! Brillig, that one is for you)
So, I had an idea today and I’m trying to convince my husband to get on board.
Rather than me telling all of you what an awesome wife I am and the fun I had planned for Matt’s 32nd birthday, I’m trying to convince HIM to write and tell you what an awesome wife I am.
Apparently his shyness extends into writing as well, but I’m working on him.
But I had an idea to give him some motivation.
I’m about to do something he might just kill me for.
I’m giving all of you his email address so you can write him and beg him to be my guest blogger.
Hahahah, seriously he’s going to kill me but here you go! (Little hint, he doesn’t know I’m doing this so you might have to explain a little in your email!!)
If you think I’m a jerk for doing this, you can email me as well. A link to send me an email sits over on the sidebar.
Hehehehehe.
Well, it’s the final part of the saga. I’m glad to give you all an ending but I’m sad that I have to come up with something else for next week!
If you’re just tuning in, you can find the rest of the story by clicking the following links:
Installment #1
Installment #2
Installment #3
And now, the ending . . .
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As I’m sure you’ve guessed, Laine and I didn’t speak to each other for a very long time. Things were not good between us. We shared the same friends but avoided each other completely. Luckily for me, she was avoiding me from thousands of miles away and I was having a blast my senior year in high school.
Yeah, there’s a but.
Wouldn’t you know, that about a year and a half or so later, on a quick weekend trip with our other girlfriends to
The rest of us were going to Knott’s Berry Farm and Laine decided, as seemed to be her younger year pattern, to choose the guy over the girls. So she stayed behind and went to dinner with him and was going to meet us at Knott’s later. I figured there was nothing I could do, so I didn’t argue.
Yet, she never showed up at the park. We all rolled our eyes and said things like “figures.” But we had a blast, laughing, going on rides and even meeting new boys. It was a great night and we felt sorry that Laine had missed it.
When we got back from the park I discovered Laine was not back yet and my suitcase had been rifled through and my FAVORITE OUTFIT was missing, I think something snapped. I had thought I was over it. I had thought I had forgiven her, but apparently, I hadn’t quite done that yet.
I stormed outside to go on a walk and cool off. I had thoughts of tracking her down and ripping my puffy blue vest off her betraying shoulders (ew, puffy vests right?!?!) and leaving her butt in
Then I saw the thing that sent me over my delicate edge.
There was a foreign truck parked in front my grandparents house, with two people making out in it. And when they saw me, they ducked. Gee. Who could that possibly be?
There were many, many mean, horrible thoughts running through my head at that moment, but, as is my nature sometimes. I chose the awesomely passive aggressive route. I pretended I didn’t see and just kept walking, around the block and back to the house. I had a plan. An evil, vengeful plan.
Giggling with the other girls, I walked around the house and with an evil smile on my face, I locked every.single.door.
Those of you who know m myself or my grandparents know two things:
One, the door at Club Lynsky is NEVER, EVER locked.
Second, you know that this is probably the most aggressive I’ve ever been in a fight with someone. I don’t usually do stuff like that. I just don’t. I usually just take a few minutes, try to get over it and move on. Oh not this time. I was being malicious, and I liked it. It was almost 2 AM and I knew Laine wouldn’t dare wake up anyone in the house to get in, so I knew she’d be stuck outside.
At whatever point Laine and Jason stopped sucking face, she tried to come back inside to go to bed. And there was no way in. She had to sleep in my grandparent’s camper in the driveway that night. I don’t know if there were blankets in there or not, but I imagined she was freezing, and I giggled evil-y the whole night through.
For the sake of a true soap opera, I wish the story could end there, that it started a cruel chain of events where eventually one of us steals the other’s husband or something, but it does have a happy ending.
I never really brought up that night. I think I acted like the door locking was an accident, that I had no idea. I did what I normally do, and I got over it. We drove back to
As life would have it, she thought he was a loser too at this point. We all moved on. I was back to being best friends with Laine in no time. She met a new guy and got engaged shortly after that, and life rolled on, leaving Jason in the dust. I think he married a girl named Daisy. I like to think she’s dumb as a brick. She has to be for marrying him, right?!
Looking back, I think that experience actually brought us closer together in the long run. She and I are both happily married, still close friends. And I am glad. My life was missing something those few months we weren’t speaking. I missed her and I’m glad we kissed and made up. You live, you learn, you grow up and you move on, right? But boy oh boy it sure makes a fantastic story. And Laine and I laugh about it all.the.time.
The.End.
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Now, the mostest fun part! Other soapy stories for you to read!!
Are you playing Soap Opera Sunday too? If so, be sure you link back to me and Brillig and then let us know you’re playing (please do not assume that we already know!) and we’ll add your link to the list! For more info, read this post.
This picture was taken on his 28th birthday, four years ago today, about a month before we met for the first time. In’t he cute in a huge hat? I mean, he’s cute all the time, but the hat really works for him, no?!
Matt is, without a doubt, the most selfless, amazing individual I have ever met in my entire life. He always makes sure that I know that with him, I always come first and I am so grateful for him and can’t believe I’m lucky enough to have married him. I only hope I can prove to him that he comes first with me too!
This year, for the man who won’t even ask for birthday presents, I think I’ve planned something he’ll TOTALLY love. I promise to post pictures because it’s sort of a weekend extravaganza (or Katestravaganza as he calls them) and I think it’s going to be a total blast! Since I’m sure he wont’ check the blog tomorrow, here’s a hint. I’m so excited you’d think it was MY birthday! hahaha.
So that’s my shout out to my hilarious, amazing husband who is currently doing a little dance behind me (and he’s really goofy looking when he dances!). I hope this year is the BEST.YEAR.EVER. I love him more than I could ever express with words.
Yesterday . . . we got an offer on our house!
It’s a “full price” offer, but they are asking for us to pay closing costs (HAHAHAH yeah right) and they are not a “prime” lender, so to speak, so we’re not positive it will go through, but it’s an OFFER and we can NEGOTIATE and I think it might work out.
Seems like there was something in the water, because yesterday was an incredibly good day for my dearest Brillig too.
Phew. I’m feeling very relieved that, even if it doesn’t work out, another offer will be shortly behind, because we’ve had more traffic in three days than we’ve had over the last five months.
Oh wait. Now I have to move.
Crap.
Dear Dumb**s, er . . . Realtor,
Remember the letter I wrote you just yesterday? Well, not YOU in particular. That letter was to all the Realtors out there. This letter though? This one is just for you.
Less than 24 hours after I hit “publish” on my new set of Realtor Rules, you broke Rules #3, #4 and #5.
Had you followed Rule #4, you would have shown up at my house yesterday, like we agreed when I fired you, to give me my one spare key out of your lockbox and get your lockbox and sign off of my property.
Now, had you followed Rule #3, you would have read, in a very explicitly detailed email that, since you failed to show up yesterday as promised, I wanted you to keep the lockbox with the key in it on my house until we could meet in person. That way, if something happened, for example, a PERSON WANTED TO LOOK AT MY HOME THIS AFTERNOON, the key would have been happily lying in it’s little safe lockbox spot at 5:00 when that someone tried to get in the house to take a little look-see.
Also, had you followed Rule #5, you would have answered your freaking cell phone when I called you from my office at 5:00 today wondering where on the green earth my freaking house key was because someone was STANDING AT MY DOOR TRYING TO GET IN. Someone pre-approved for the amount we’re asking on our house. A potential way out of my stress. And, subsequently, had you answered your cell phone, I wouldn’t have had to break about a million traffic laws and wouldn’t have had to piss off pretty much every driver in Phoenix trying to race home to let the people into my house.
Lucky for you I’m a pretty freaking good driver, especially under pressure, and Someone upstairs was looking after me because there was like, zero traffic on a road that is normally stalled to about 5 mph. Also lucky for you is the fact that the people were patient with me and I was able to let them in the house. And most of all, lucky for me these people looked at the house under our new realtor’s listing, so there’s not a chance you’ll see a dime of the commission if they decide to purchase.
The events of the day only solidify my belief that, if I sucked as badly at my job as you do, I would be homeless and naked, only able to afford a lollipop.
Sincerely yours,
Don’t let the door hit ‘ya where the good Lord split ‘ya
