I Still Belong in High School

So last night I went to a Relief Society Progressive Dinner for our Christmas/Quarterly Enrichment Activity. I was in a group with most of the girls I go to Boot Camp with, so that was awesome, but we determined something disturbing.

We all belong in high school, not as married women (some with kids) owning houses and being, like, responsible for stuff.

We talked about the following innappropriate subjects and laughed like twelve year olds:

-sex
-plastic surgery (detailed lists of what we want done)
-botox
-lip injections
-farting
-expensive jeans we all want and manipulative ways to convince our husbands to let us get them
-expensive shoes we all want and manipulative ways to convince our husbands to let us get them

Then, we talked about how lame we were for talking about the above subjects, and laughed until our stomachs hurt about that. Mind you we weren’t the only girls in the group. Sigh . . . we’re so lame.

Then, this morning at boot camp, we talked about it all again.

As I said, we belong in high school. Someone needs to take my job away from me, their children away from them, take away our driving priveledges and ground us all.

Calling All Newly Single Men!

Woah, that title sounds more suggestive than I mean it too. Let me ’splain.

I RULE at shopping with newly divorced men. It’s probably one of my best talents. I mean this in no provocative, inappropriate way. I am and will remain a happily married woman. But I am so good at taking a guy who is feeling a little down and helping him look FANtastic.

My good friend Stacey also rules at it. She suggested we start a business.

We just took a poor little guy who’s been supressed in his fashion decisions and made him a new man. We had a lot of help from the guy at Nordstrom, but we freaking rule.

About a year or so ago I also assisted another good friend of mine who’d been suppressed in his fashion decisions and made him hot. Just ask Stacey. (and again, I don’t feel THAT way about it, but you have to be able to admit when a guy looks good thanks to your fashion tips.)

So, the millions of faithful followers of this blog (HAHAHAHAHA yeah right) if you happen to know a fasion challenged, newly single man (or maybe many of them) who live in the greater Phoenix area . . . send ‘em my way. I’m going to only charge them one HOT pair of jeans per shopping trip. A steal fo my services!